How to download files using IRC

Posted on March 18th, 2005 by fizzle in How To's

Well it’s that time again hookers and negros, for the updated revised, super ultra double fresh mIRC tutorial by (drumroll) one fizzle! You may be wondering where the fuck the other tutorial went, frankly so am I. But this one I will fix a few errors in my last one, and other such awesome shit like that. Lets get on with the fucking program, shall we?

mIRC is a fucking program that fucking owns, bitchface. IRC stands for “internet relay chat”. It’s basically AOL without the fags and slow ass speeds, and spyware, and all the other gay shit with AOL. Plus its got a ton of other things. So really the only thing the same about IRC and AOL is the fact that you can talk to other people using it. This was pointless.In This tutorial I will make it possible for even the stupidest fucking moron of a computer user be able to use IRC. As long as you can read and follow explicit instructions, you will be downloading your favorite gay porn in about 10 minutes. Anyway, so with IRC (using the most popular program for windows to navigate through IRC, mIRC), we download shit. Tons of shit. More shit than all the sewers in Detroit can handle. There are millions and probably billions of bots all over thousands of IRC servers. bots are simply another program that somebody has set up to let you download files. These bots are almost always run from somebodies computer, with a real person controlling them.Most people are afraid of IRC because its not like kazaa or whatever you kids use nowadays, where you just open the program, search, double click, and download. IRC utilizes commands, kind of like DOS, if you remember that relic.However, there is an easy way to do this, and normally you dont have to type in a single command by yourself. That way is known as www.packetnews.com and/or www.ircspy.com. Me, personally, I prefer to use packetnews, and that’s what I will be using specifically in this tutorial. IRCSpy is pretty much the same thing though. Anyway, click right up there and that dope ass ultra fresh packetnews link, which will open in a new window.

Ahh, so here we have packetnews. You see a bunch of pretty much useless shit. Nerd news and banners and whatnot, who cares. Up at the top middle of the page, you see “Search” with a pull-down menu that says XDCC. Dont change that, until you know what youre getting yourself into. Next to that, you see a text area, where you type what you want to search. So lets assume you typed in “gay”, yes, “gay”, because you are. Now pay attention you little bastard, this is where it gets kinda hairy for those with IQ’s less than 20. You want to keep your search fairly simple. So if you were looking for the latest nsync CD, I know you will, fag, You would simply search “nsync” without the quotes. Then you would look for the name of the CD, and find a bot that you want to download from. That will be explained later, how to find the best bots. Below is what you will see (or something like it), after searching for “Gay”.

Wow, that shit’s pretty crazy huh? Not really, lets just take it one step at a time. First, we see it says “network: barracade”. The network is the specific IRC Server, or Network, if you will, that the bot is located on. Like I said, theres tons of different networks, so dont really worry too much about that right now.

Next, it says “channel: #tdz”. This is where its similar to AOL. A Channel is essentially a chat room. But in this case, its a chatroom with a whole shitload of bots listing stuff that they have for download. It most cases there are Channels for downloading, and seperate Channels for shooting the shit with your favorite 54 year old balding man that says he’s a 23 year old hot porn star. Anyway, Channels are ALWAYS preceeded by the “#” sign. Whenever you see a # sign related to IRC, you know that that is a Channel. Please dont call it a chat room, thats gay.

OK, next, we see bot then under it we see “tdzsuperxdcc”. (If the network, channel, or bot names are different when you do this, dont worry, its all good, its just that that network/channel/bot either dont offer that file anymore, or theyre offline, or whatever, just replace whatever YOU see with what I’m seeing). Anywho, so here’s the name of the bot, which on IRC is called nick short for nickname. Same thing as screen name. So thats how you identify the bot.

To the right of the bots nick, we see “active” then under that “10m”. This is usually wrong, its just saying how long the bot has actually been online. Dont worry too much about it.

Next we see “slots”, then something like “1/5″, or sometimes its just blank. If its blank it doesnt mean there are no slots, it just means packetnews didnt pick it up for some reason. But all that means is how many slots are open, out of how many available total. So if it says “1/5″, that means that there is ONE open slot for you to download a file. When you download a file, you take up a slot. Kinda think of it like a ride at an amusement park. The ride can hold 5 people, and right now theres 4 people on it. So you say “OH SHIT! LEMME ON THAT BADASS RIDE!”, and it will, as long as nobody kicks your legs out from under you and steals your spot.

Next, we see “que”. If youre mexican, its not pronounced “kay”, its pronounced like the letter q. Anyway, you should know what a queue is. If you dont, lets go back to the analogy of the amusement park ride. You will only see something under the words “que” if the slots are all taken up. So lets say slots asys “0/5″, then the que part says “13/50″. Think of a que as a line in the amusement park, to the ride. The ride is all filled up right now (everyone is downloading from the bot that is allowed to at one time), so theres a line. 13/50 means that the line can only hold 50 people, and there are currently 13 people ahead of you. This is not good, you wanna get on that ride right motherfucking now, dont you. So if you see a queue, fuck it, skip on to the next bot (if there is one). A lot of time, however, the que will be delayed quite a bit. So packetnews may say 13/50, but theres really 2/50, or 40/50. It all depends how long ago they updated it. I think packetnews updates shit every 15 minutes or so. Anyway, moving along.Next you see “kps”. This means kilobytes per second, or, the record speed that someone has downloaded from the bot. The higher the better. Pretty self explanatory.

Next, “pack“. Then, under it, you see “#5″ (or something like that). This, is the exception to the “if you see a # sign, its a channel” rule, I suppose. This is the pack number of the file you want to download. Its pretty much just how the bot knows what you want, and how you can tell it what you want. So instead of saying “hey bot, i want anal gay sex vol 1 section 3 episode 4.tar”, you can simply say, “hey bot, i want pack #5″. Also sometimes referred to as packets. Next!

Gets is how many times the file has been downloaded. something like “185x” means that it has been downloaded 185 times. Actually pretty useful, and I’ll explain why later.

Size, the size of the file. Don’t be that retarded. Its how big it is. Also useful for finding fake or corrupted files, which doesnt happen often, but if you see 20 (of the same) files that are 98mb, and you see one that is 76mb, you can be pretty sure that the 76mb file is NOT the right one, or something is wrong with it.

Description: …the description. Normally just the filename, but sometimes the filename without the .rar or .zip or whatever at the end. Not that hard kids.OK, so you see all that shit, and now you wanna download something. Well, lets just assume that those three files right there are all the same file, and they are all the file you were looking for. You have 3 choices! So, which one would you choose? Well, the way I decide when I have a choice is the slots, number one. If there are open slots, its a go. Then I look at speed, if its over 100kps, its good. If its under, meh. Next look at gets. This is where gets is useful, if you see three bots have the same file, one bot has 12 gets, one bot has 40 gets, and one bot has 600 gets, you can be pretty sure of: 1. the bot is pretty fast. 2. the bot is there often (doesnt get disconnected). 3. the file is legitimate. So those are the criteria for choosing a bot. With all that information, the best choice is clearly “[movies]kicker-001″ on #mp3 on the network “GIGAIRC”. If you thought something different, close this page, beat yourself over the head with a hammer, reopen this page, and read it all over again.OK, enough of this talk bullshit, lets fucking download this super awesome file. Now, of course first of all you will need an IRC Client installed. This is just a program that you use to use IRC. Like I said, mIRC is the most popular and most widely used for windows. So go get it at www.mirc.com (new window). OK, so thats just a program, you simply download it, unzip it, and install it. Open it, just for the hell of it. A page comes up with some ugly guy telling you how awesome he is and how you should give him money. If you want to, do it. Anyway click continue, then fill out all that information, name, email address, nick, etc etc. Click ok and you can close the program, for now.Ok, so lets say you are going to download that super sweet file from [movies]kicker-001, which we already decided to do. All you have to do (with internet explorer) is click the pack number link. Thats it, click the link that says “#5″, or whatever number it happens to be. With mIRC installed, clicking this link will do two things. 1. It will open mIRC and automatically connect to the server (after you tell it to “change servers and join the channel”, or if you happen to be on a server that you want to STAY on, you can click “open a new connection” then click OK.), then it will automatically join the channel for you. Pretty fucking sweet huh? Anyway, the second thing clicking this link does is copy the command for you. So all you have to do is (in the channel window, there will be 2 windows, one is for the channel and one is for the server, find the one that says #whatever at the top of it, and not “status GIGAIRC” or soemthing like that) and hit ctrl+v, or right click on the line where you type shit and hit paste. then hit enter.Briefly, lets take a look at that command, just so you can better understand what youre doing.

/ctcp [movies]kicker-001 xdcc send #5 is the command (assuming thats the bots name and pack number that you clicked on)

/ctcp is the beggining of the command, all commands begin with “/”. ctcp is basically the way you will be communicating with the bot. Sometimes use /msg, sometimes use /dcc, etc etc, but usually /ctcp is the best way.

[movies]kicker-001: the bots name. of course. we know that. none of this will not show up in the channel, its basically like a private message to the bot.

xdcc tells the bot “hey bitchface, i want something sent to me via XDCC!”. XDCC is usually the way things are sent on IRC, sometimes DCC, but whatever, know it, xdcc.

send #5: tells the bot “listen up fucktits, i want you to send me pack #5.” Pretty easy huh?

So to write your own command, all you have to do is simply replace that one there, with the correct name of the bot, and the correct name of the bots pack. its fucking simple as shit.

OK, so now you got that command pasted into the channel window, and you’re about to send it to the bot. but wait! theres more! Before you do all that, lets make your IRC experience a little less frustrating, as it can be if you dont have mIRC set up the right way. I’ll tell you exactly how to do that right now!

OK, first of all, you want to get into mIRC options. Easy enough, just go to “tools” and then “options”, or hit alt+o. A window comes up with a whollllllle buncha shit, feel free to play around, but I wouldnt change too much shit if you don’t know exactly what its gonna do. Anyway, lets make this shit easy.

Go down to DCC, on the left side of the options window, highlight dcc, and the part on the right will change. On the right we see “on send request”. I like to set this to “auto get file” with “minimize” unchecked. Basically all this does is NOT popup a window when a bot is trying to send you something, asking you to accept it cuz it might be a l33t v1ru$ or something gay. Fuck that window its gay. I also like to set “if file exists” to “resume” with “ignore all” unchecked. Below is “on chat request”. You wont need to mess with this for downloading stuff, so I dont care.

Next, on the left side, go down to “folders”, under “DCC”. This is the default folder for file types. For instance, if you want ALL files that end in .zip to go into c:zips, and all files that end in .rar to go in c:rars, you can set that up right here. you MUST edit this in order to download shit, wether you edit the folder it goes into or not. Anyway, I’ll just assume you want all your shit to go into one folder, if you want different shit to go to different folders, you can do that yourself by clicking “add”, then adding *.rar or *.zip, *.whatever, then clicking the button under “into this folder:” and changing the folder. But for now, just highlight the second part, the one under “default” and click “edit”. Here we see some file extensions. just copy and paste this exactly as it is into that line: *.wav,*.mid,*.mp3,*.wma,*.ogg,*.rar,*.tar,*.zip

If you plan on downloading some different file type, for instance .exe or whatever, simpy put a comma after “zip”, then a space, then a *, then a period, then the file extension (exe, or whatever). so it would look like: *.zip, *.exe and thats it. If you want to change the folder that ALL files with these extensions go into, click the “into this folder:” button and change it. Then simply click OK.

Next, on the left side, under “folders” click ignore. This is probably the most important part of these options, so dont fuck it up moron. “method:” change to DISABLED. go down and uncheck “turn ignore back on in:”. this is the most fucking annoying thing in mIRC and i don know why it’s already taken out. Its to protect against people from sending you virii and trojans and shit, but if you’re dumb enough to run a .exe file that you dont know what it is or where it came from, then you fucking deserve a virus. Anyway, thats it for the options! simply click ok to get outta there.OK! now youre finally ready to download something. All you gotta do is simply go to the channel window (where you pasted the command into) and hit enter. One of a few things will happen.

1. The file will begin downloading, SUCCESS! when it’s done you can find it wherever you told it to go in the “folders” options, c:program filesmIRCsounds by default.

2. It will say something like [movies]kicker-001 no suck nick/channel. This means that the bot is gone, either for good or for a few minutes, it might have got disconnected, or its name may have changed. Either you can wait around to see if it comes back, or you can just go back to packetnews and find the next best bot, and hope it isnt disconnected. Sucks when this happens to a good bot.

3. a message saying something like this will appear: all slots full, you have been placed in queue 12 out of 30, estimated time remaining 17m, to remove yourself from this queue type /ctcp [movies]kicker-001 xdcc remove. This is pretty self explanatory. It means you’re not downloading the file yet, but you gotta wait in line. Usually the “time remaining” is pretty accurate. Either wait around or type in that message to remove yourself from the queue and go back to packetnews and try the next best bot.

4. Absolutely nothing will happen. This sometimes happens, I dunno why. Could be the bot lagging hard and it takes a minute, could just be your connection, could be a lot of things. If it does happen, stick around for a minute or two, then if nothing STILL happens, move on to the next best bot via packetnews.Thats it! Assuming you set your options correctly, you should be downloading your favorite gay porn as we speak! Thats all there is to it. Packetnews, search, find the best bot, click the pack number, paste the command, download the shit. How fucking easy can shit get? And you were afraid of IRC, you little pussy ass bitch.

That concludes this tutorial, if you have any comments or any other gay shit you wanna tell me, feel free to email me at 1fizzle[at]gmail. obviously replace the [at] with the @ sign. Dumbass.

Keep a lookout for my up and coming tutorial on downloading via Fserv, and then again as I write another one on setting up your OWN bot so people can download shit from YOU! Peace.

Related posts:

1. How to download torrent files Hey there! Time yet again for another one of my...
2. How to serve up files using IRC Well it is finally here, the “How to serve files...

Tags: downloading files with irc, filesharing, irc, mirc, software downloading

This entry was posted on Friday, March 18th, 2005 at 11:53 pm and is filed under How To's. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.